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There are those times when i feel like nothing could possible go my way, i look outside and feel that is no way the world is still spinning when you were happy once. I try so hard to get past the emptiness that feel within my soul but know that nothing is ever going to be the same. 


I hate knowing that the one persons so special to me doesn't feel even a fraction of the emotion that seep from me, and i wish that there was a way to tell him, and not fear losing the relationship between us. 

Well, I just want to tell you that do not make our forgiveness for you as a joke. Stop doing nonsense things and consciousness what you have done to your lover all around you.

You sure will reap what you sow..not now but in your future days 

Between, yesterday i get a sad news that your grandmum is pass away cause of tumor :'( Although the time been with her not saying longer, but her mercy already imprinted in my mind, cheers for your family n I quiet worrying about your parents since they treat me really so good. 
Anywhere must stay strong and popo Rest In peace :)






Hᴀᴠᴇ Yᴏᴜ Eᴠᴇʀ Wᴏɴᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ


Have you ever wondered
How much I think about you
Have you ever wondered
How much you mean to me

Have you ever wondered
How much I really love you
Have you ever wondered
How much I really care

Faces all around
But all I see is you
Voices everywhere
But all I hear is you

.♥/(,")\.(".)♥★
..★/♥\♥/█\♥★
.♥_| |__| |_ ♥ 


ℐ ღ☤ṧṧ ƴ☺υ 

I wanna tell the world that I don't miss him
 I don't need him anymore
 I've moved on
 I don't wanna see him anymore
But I din't tell the world that I said this with tears in my eyes :'')

A great love? It's when I shed tears for u but still care about it. It's when you ignored me but i still wait for u. It's when you starts loving another & yet I manage a smile and find the courage to say "I'm Happy For You". I know I love u when I don't hate you for breaking my heart. Somebody tell my head to try and tell my heart that I'm better off without you, but I can't lie to my heart no matter how hard I try. I wish you knew how much this hurts but then again no I don't. it'd be too embarrassing to have you know that I cry at night that I wish you were there. I pretend I'm holding you hard and that I relate all these sad songs to you. I still remember the moment I looked in your eyes for the last time that one little memory still had the right amount of love to make me cry :')

The only truly painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.






Meditation course in forest


Well, i thinking for almost 1 month should attend this meditation courses in Kuantan forest anot =] Finally i decide to join and try their way to relax myself, it benefited me greatly.

This meditation consider as traditional Buddhist meditation, taught by many teachers worldwide. However, they have questions like "How will I manage to keep quiet for 9 days?"xD..it's bee 9 days i nouble silence and cannot have any facial expressions with others, ya, is quiet like live in my own world alone and isolation with the whole world :)) but i feel very great by living in these world with only me, is a good trying in life.

Erm, i take vegetarian food for 12days. Students who have completed one 10-day course in the past are deemed ‘old students’. They may not eat fruit or milk-based drinks after noon, so just have breakfast and lunch, no more dinner to take.

My daily schedule: 
4:30-6:30 am Meditate in hall 
6:30-8:00 am Breakfast break 
8:00-11:00 am Meditation in the hall 
11:00-1:00 noon Lunch break 
1:00-5:00 pm Meditate in the hall 
5:00-6:00 pm Tea break 
6:00-9:00 pm Meditation in the hall 
9:00-9:30 pm Question time in the hall 
9:30 pm Retire to your own room–Lights out

During the course, I struggled with posture but made steady progress. Upon returning, I was convinced of the great potency of meditation for stress reduction. Phrases like “mind chatter”, “awareness” and “quietening of the mind” now made sense to me. I was also convinced that there is a path, a series of well-documented steps, towards a goal that I do not fully understand. However, progress towards this goal makes me a better and better person, and that the path has been traversed by many before.

Before attending the camp, I had read some books and some online articles on meditation. After attending these camp, I realized that reading books and articles is so incomplete without actual practice. And after learning meditation in practical terms, I felt no need to read these books any more. I came to understand why ‘knowledge’ acquired through ‘personal experience’ is so valued.


On the whole, the 10-day course is a ‘boot camp’ or a ‘crash course’ that teaches me a lot :)) I believe the teachings are pure and authentic; it is difficult to find such teachers or groups in the world. 


Outside meditation hall..environmental r nature

Everywhere r full of green grassland

Small pavilion for students exercise :)

Staying room ^_^

Meditation hall

Dining hall :)

Just simply taken by me ^0^

Corridor for students walking =]

Before backing home, damn not willing to leave o__O

My schedule of May all full T_T Quiet tired keep going here going there, but feel that my life is enrich n happy right now..need to leave home again more 2days..back here on next month..88  =^_^=



I'm Sorry



I really had a sleepless night, moving here and there on my bed and thinking about what happen to my might. I least expected it, I experienced the worst headache ever, all I could hear was my heart beating much faster. So I'm writing this for u cause I feel really bad, thinking about the time I treat you makes me really sad. I'm sorry for all that I've caused you and I regret the things I've done.

I feel bad now, cause I tore your world apart, and now all I can think about is how I hurt-ed you. I crazy for finding back all our conversations last year, it makes me smile sweet in my heart when keep reading back.These tears that run down my cheek are filled with sadness, because I miss the time and now I know it will never work :( The thought of you makes me smile, and I know our relationship was real.

I know that you didn't deserve to be hurt like that, and you will find someone who will love you and treat you right, they will make you happy. For now, sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry for you last time. You caused me pains too but and I'm really confused about everything. I wont forget the time be with you. Hope to hear from you...


This letter i write last month..but i have no change to give you.. 
Nvm~all is pass..just keep it in my heart :)..wish u all the best,pig =]


Hurting again

It's been quite awhile since I've written you a msg. I must say that after all those times we've been apart you're still the one I'm looking for. You see, life has never been the same without you.

Every day and every night, I fight this feeling, but try as I might, I can't win. It seems like you've captured my heart and my heart won't be able to escape from your grasp. Every morning when the sun goes out to shine, I flash a smile but deep inside, I feel so sad and lonely and all I'm thinking is that I need you here and now.


I have regrets - regrets of why I let you go. But the sad fact is that you never tried or attempted to straighten things out between us. You never tried to fight for our love. And it pained me the most to know that you can envision your life without me. 

Where have gone all those promises you once said? I guess promises are really made to be broken. 
You made me believe that. And so, the best thing to do right now would be to miss you ... no more, no less. I just pray that somehow this heart of mine would learn to be contented - contented to be just missing you.  <//3