Hᴀᴠᴇ Yᴏᴜ Eᴠᴇʀ Wᴏɴᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ

Have you ever wondered

How much I think about you

Have you ever wondered

How much you mean to me

Have you ever wondered

How much I really love you

Have you ever wondered

How much I really care

Faces all around

But all I see is you

Voices everywhere

But all I hear is you

.♥/(,")\.(".)♥★

..★/♥\♥/█\♥★

.♥_| |__| |_ ♥ 

ℐ ღ☤ṧṧ ƴ☺υ 

I wanna tell the world that I don't miss him

 I don't need him anymore

 I've moved on

 I don't wanna see him anymore

But I din't tell the world that I said this with tears in my eyes :'')

A great love? It's when I shed tears for u but still care about it. It's when you ignored me but i still wait for u. It's when you starts loving another & yet I manage a smile and find the courage to say "I'm Happy For You". I know I love u when I don't hate you for breaking my heart. Somebody tell my head to try and tell my heart that I'm better off without you, but I can't lie to my heart no matter how hard I try. I wish you knew how much this hurts but then again no I don't. it'd be too embarrassing to have you know that I cry at night that I wish you were there. I pretend I'm holding you hard and that I relate all these sad songs to you. I still remember the moment I looked in your eyes for the last time that one little memory still had the right amount of love to make me cry :')

The only truly painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.

Meditation course in forest

Well, i thinking for almost 1 month should attend this meditation courses in Kuantan forest anot =] Finally i decide to join and try their way to relax myself, it benefited me greatly.

This meditation consider as traditional Buddhist meditation, taught by many teachers worldwide. However, they have questions like "How will I manage to keep quiet for 9 days?"xD..it's bee 9 days i nouble silence and cannot have any facial expressions with others, ya, is quiet like live in my own world alone and isolation with the whole world :)) but i feel very great by living in these world with only me, is a good trying in life.

Erm, i take vegetarian food for 12days. Students who have completed one 10-day course in the past are deemed ‘old students’. They may not eat fruit or milk-based drinks after noon, so just have breakfast and lunch, no more dinner to take.

My daily schedule: 

4:30-6:30 am Meditate in hall 

6:30-8:00 am Breakfast break 

8:00-11:00 am Meditation in the hall 

11:00-1:00 noon Lunch break 

1:00-5:00 pm Meditate in the hall 

5:00-6:00 pm Tea break 

6:00-9:00 pm Meditation in the hall 

9:00-9:30 pm Question time in the hall 

9:30 pm Retire to your own room–Lights out

During the course, I struggled with posture but made steady progress. Upon returning, I was convinced of the great potency of meditation for stress reduction. Phrases like “mind chatter”, “awareness” and “quietening of the mind” now made sense to me. I was also convinced that there is a path, a series of well-documented steps, towards a goal that I do not fully understand. However, progress towards this goal makes me a better and better person, and that the path has been traversed by many before.

Before attending the camp, I had read some books and some online articles on meditation. After attending these camp, I realized that reading books and articles is so incomplete without actual practice. And after learning meditation in practical terms, I felt no need to read these books any more. I came to understand why ‘knowledge’ acquired through ‘personal experience’ is so valued.

On the whole, the 10-day course is a ‘boot camp’ or a ‘crash course’ that teaches me a lot :)) I believe the teachings are pure and authentic; it is difficult to find such teachers or groups in the world. 

Outside meditation hall..environmental r nature ♥

Everywhere r full of green grassland ♥

Small pavilion for students exercise :)

Staying room ^_^

Meditation hall

Dining hall :)

Just simply taken by me ^0^

Corridor for students walking =]

Before backing home, damn not willing to leave o__O

My schedule of May all full T_T Quiet tired keep going here going there, but feel that my life is enrich n happy right now..need to leave home again more 2days..back here on next month..88  =^_^=

I'm Sorry

I really had a sleepless night, moving here and there on my bed and thinking about what happen to my might. I least expected it, I experienced the worst headache ever, all I could hear was my heart beating much faster. So I'm writing this for u cause I feel really bad, thinking about the time I treat you makes me really sad. I'm sorry for all that I've caused you and I regret the things I've done.

I feel bad now, cause I tore your world apart, and now all I can think about is how I hurt-ed you. I crazy for finding back all our conversations last year, it makes me smile sweet in my heart when keep reading back.These tears that run down my cheek are filled with sadness, because I miss the time and now I know it will never work :( The thought of you makes me smile, and I know our relationship was real.

I know that you didn't deserve to be hurt like that, and you will find someone who will love you and treat you right, they will make you happy. For now, sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry for you last time. You caused me pains too but and I'm really confused about everything. I wont forget the time be with you. Hope to hear from you...

This letter i write last month..but i have no change to give you.. 

Nvm~all is pass..just keep it in my heart :)..wish u all the best,pig =]

Hurting again

It's been quite awhile since I've written you a msg. I must say that after all those times we've been apart you're still the one I'm looking for. You see, life has never been the same without you.

Every day and every night, I fight this feeling, but try as I might, I can't win. It seems like you've captured my heart and my heart won't be able to escape from your grasp. Every morning when the sun goes out to shine, I flash a smile but deep inside, I feel so sad and lonely and all I'm thinking is that I need you here and now.

I have regrets - regrets of why I let you go. But the sad fact is that you never tried or attempted to straighten things out between us. You never tried to fight for our love. And it pained me the most to know that you can envision your life without me. 

Where have gone all those promises you once said? I guess promises are really made to be broken. 

You made me believe that. And so, the best thing to do right now would be to miss you ... no more, no less. I just pray that somehow this heart of mine would learn to be contented - contented to be just missing you.  <//3

好忙啊。。

人们都说时间是医治伤痛最好的良药。时间的确让我渐渐的忘记好多事情。那无比的痛开始麻木了...心情也好了许多。至于身体还是老样子...胃没有恢复{{(>_<)}} 每天靠药物控制那痛~偶尔还忍不着掉下眼泪...一切都是自己拿来..老天在惩罚我吧 x__x

说回来最近都好忙啊( ⊙ o ⊙ )每天都去跑步跳绳..但我还是那么矮矮肥肥的..(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……没办法,太贪吃..时常叫妈咪买cheese蛋糕给我~好好吃哦..可是我的最爱食物之一。

这几天都在收拾我的行李准备去旅行，爸比就说我收那么久行李箱还是空的..O(∩_∩)O哈哈~女孩子嘛，毕竟是比较麻烦..我的衣服选了又换，换了好几轮..把我的房间和客厅弄得像菜市场摆摊子 ^o^ 

带病去旅行..医生吩不能冷到...╯﹏╰...那边可是很冷呗..最低9°,最高18°..我蛮怕冷..所以准备了thermal wear也就是卫生衣..有了它就可以放心,可以忍耐到零下几度。

缺一不可的冷衣~帽子~手套~围巾( ◕◡◕)

都是妈咪准备的..感觉蛮老土..(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……

不能多写了...要准备offline..有点不舍得去旅行的感觉..因为很难联络到马来西亚的关系吧..想念我家的熊..xD..(*^__^*) 旅行回来再更信部落格。。

Off to KL..bye bye =^_^=

To be CONTINUE