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There are those times when i feel like nothing could possible go my way, i look outside and feel that is no way the world is still spinning when you were happy once. I try so hard to get past the emptiness that feel within my soul but know that nothing is ever going to be the same. 


I hate knowing that the one persons so special to me doesn't feel even a fraction of the emotion that seep from me, and i wish that there was a way to tell him, and not fear losing the relationship between us. 

Well, I just want to tell you that do not make our forgiveness for you as a joke. Stop doing nonsense things and consciousness what you have done to your lover all around you.

You sure will reap what you sow..not now but in your future days 

Between, yesterday i get a sad news that your grandmum is pass away cause of tumor :'( Although the time been with her not saying longer, but her mercy already imprinted in my mind, cheers for your family n I quiet worrying about your parents since they treat me really so good. 
Anywhere must stay strong and popo Rest In peace :)






Hᴀᴠᴇ Yᴏᴜ Eᴠᴇʀ Wᴏɴᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ


Have you ever wondered
How much I think about you
Have you ever wondered
How much you mean to me

Have you ever wondered
How much I really love you
Have you ever wondered
How much I really care

Faces all around
But all I see is you
Voices everywhere
But all I hear is you

.♥/(,")\.(".)♥★
..★/♥\♥/█\♥★
.♥_| |__| |_ ♥ 


ℐ ღ☤ṧṧ ƴ☺υ 

I wanna tell the world that I don't miss him
 I don't need him anymore
 I've moved on
 I don't wanna see him anymore
But I din't tell the world that I said this with tears in my eyes :'')

A great love? It's when I shed tears for u but still care about it. It's when you ignored me but i still wait for u. It's when you starts loving another & yet I manage a smile and find the courage to say "I'm Happy For You". I know I love u when I don't hate you for breaking my heart. Somebody tell my head to try and tell my heart that I'm better off without you, but I can't lie to my heart no matter how hard I try. I wish you knew how much this hurts but then again no I don't. it'd be too embarrassing to have you know that I cry at night that I wish you were there. I pretend I'm holding you hard and that I relate all these sad songs to you. I still remember the moment I looked in your eyes for the last time that one little memory still had the right amount of love to make me cry :')

The only truly painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.






Meditation course in forest


Well, i thinking for almost 1 month should attend this meditation courses in Kuantan forest anot =] Finally i decide to join and try their way to relax myself, it benefited me greatly.

This meditation consider as traditional Buddhist meditation, taught by many teachers worldwide. However, they have questions like "How will I manage to keep quiet for 9 days?"xD..it's bee 9 days i nouble silence and cannot have any facial expressions with others, ya, is quiet like live in my own world alone and isolation with the whole world :)) but i feel very great by living in these world with only me, is a good trying in life.

Erm, i take vegetarian food for 12days. Students who have completed one 10-day course in the past are deemed ‘old students’. They may not eat fruit or milk-based drinks after noon, so just have breakfast and lunch, no more dinner to take.

My daily schedule: 
4:30-6:30 am Meditate in hall 
6:30-8:00 am Breakfast break 
8:00-11:00 am Meditation in the hall 
11:00-1:00 noon Lunch break 
1:00-5:00 pm Meditate in the hall 
5:00-6:00 pm Tea break 
6:00-9:00 pm Meditation in the hall 
9:00-9:30 pm Question time in the hall 
9:30 pm Retire to your own room–Lights out

During the course, I struggled with posture but made steady progress. Upon returning, I was convinced of the great potency of meditation for stress reduction. Phrases like “mind chatter”, “awareness” and “quietening of the mind” now made sense to me. I was also convinced that there is a path, a series of well-documented steps, towards a goal that I do not fully understand. However, progress towards this goal makes me a better and better person, and that the path has been traversed by many before.

Before attending the camp, I had read some books and some online articles on meditation. After attending these camp, I realized that reading books and articles is so incomplete without actual practice. And after learning meditation in practical terms, I felt no need to read these books any more. I came to understand why ‘knowledge’ acquired through ‘personal experience’ is so valued.


On the whole, the 10-day course is a ‘boot camp’ or a ‘crash course’ that teaches me a lot :)) I believe the teachings are pure and authentic; it is difficult to find such teachers or groups in the world. 


Outside meditation hall..environmental r nature

Everywhere r full of green grassland

Small pavilion for students exercise :)

Staying room ^_^

Meditation hall

Dining hall :)

Just simply taken by me ^0^

Corridor for students walking =]

Before backing home, damn not willing to leave o__O

My schedule of May all full T_T Quiet tired keep going here going there, but feel that my life is enrich n happy right now..need to leave home again more 2days..back here on next month..88  =^_^=



I'm Sorry



I really had a sleepless night, moving here and there on my bed and thinking about what happen to my might. I least expected it, I experienced the worst headache ever, all I could hear was my heart beating much faster. So I'm writing this for u cause I feel really bad, thinking about the time I treat you makes me really sad. I'm sorry for all that I've caused you and I regret the things I've done.

I feel bad now, cause I tore your world apart, and now all I can think about is how I hurt-ed you. I crazy for finding back all our conversations last year, it makes me smile sweet in my heart when keep reading back.These tears that run down my cheek are filled with sadness, because I miss the time and now I know it will never work :( The thought of you makes me smile, and I know our relationship was real.

I know that you didn't deserve to be hurt like that, and you will find someone who will love you and treat you right, they will make you happy. For now, sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry for you last time. You caused me pains too but and I'm really confused about everything. I wont forget the time be with you. Hope to hear from you...


This letter i write last month..but i have no change to give you.. 
Nvm~all is pass..just keep it in my heart :)..wish u all the best,pig =]


Hurting again

It's been quite awhile since I've written you a msg. I must say that after all those times we've been apart you're still the one I'm looking for. You see, life has never been the same without you.

Every day and every night, I fight this feeling, but try as I might, I can't win. It seems like you've captured my heart and my heart won't be able to escape from your grasp. Every morning when the sun goes out to shine, I flash a smile but deep inside, I feel so sad and lonely and all I'm thinking is that I need you here and now.


I have regrets - regrets of why I let you go. But the sad fact is that you never tried or attempted to straighten things out between us. You never tried to fight for our love. And it pained me the most to know that you can envision your life without me. 

Where have gone all those promises you once said? I guess promises are really made to be broken. 
You made me believe that. And so, the best thing to do right now would be to miss you ... no more, no less. I just pray that somehow this heart of mine would learn to be contented - contented to be just missing you.  <//3



好忙啊。。


人们都说时间是医治伤痛最好的良药。时间的确让我渐渐的忘记好多事情。那无比的痛开始麻木了...心情也好了许多。至于身体还是老样子...胃没有恢复{{(>_<)}} 每天靠药物控制那痛~偶尔还忍不着掉下眼泪...一切都是自己拿来..老天在惩罚我吧 x__x


说回来最近都好忙啊( ⊙ o ⊙ )每天都去跑步跳绳..但我还是那么矮矮肥肥的..(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……没办法,太贪吃..时常叫妈咪买cheese蛋糕给我~好好吃哦..可是我的最爱食物之一。

这几天都在收拾我的行李准备去旅行,爸比就说我收那么久行李箱还是空的..O(∩_∩)O哈哈~女孩子嘛,毕竟是比较麻烦..我的衣服选了又换,换了好几轮..把我的房间和客厅弄得像菜市场摆摊子 ^o^ 








带病去旅行..医生吩不能冷到...╯﹏╰...那边可是很冷呗..最低9°,最高18°..我蛮怕冷..所以准备了thermal wear也就是卫生衣..有了它就可以放心,可以忍耐到零下几度。




缺一不可的冷衣~帽子~手套~围巾( ◕◡◕)
都是妈咪准备的..感觉蛮老土..(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……



不能多写了...要准备offline..有点不舍得去旅行的感觉..因为很难联络到马来西亚的关系吧..想念我家的熊..xD..(*^__^*) 旅行回来再更信部落格。。




Off to KL..bye bye =^_^=



To be CONTINUE




TBS Life Camp

Have a very nice n wonderful 5 days camping :) Love all my dear friends especially boon lee, xiao mei, yong qian, rainni ng, mei zi, jian wei, yu cheng n still somemore..........we sure will meet again in next camp coming on june =]


Doing exercise everyday..damn tired -___-
But happy enough v all funny dear








Taken photo on the last days..i cherish our friendship =^_^=


Yeah..quiet noisy so everyone must put one piece of tape on mouth
 X~X



A memorable time..
We cook ourselves start from 5a.m..and eat what we cook..
Is damn "TASTY" >.<


Doing exercise before playing game :))



Introduce ours group n give a talk of "What we want to learn in the camp"
Our group 2 slogan :效有效有,有效率,勇往前冲到最后


Singing time =]


Before eating


We prepare some bamboo before cooking ourselves..
Our group's most funny people(purple color shirt..xD..his nickname is 胸毛n豆沙包) 


Competition with others group..holding a child and walk a big round
=] quiet happy


Ours egg(keep for few days n can't make it broken)




Group discussion :)


Cooking in the night for our dinner
(we cook for 4hours++ just using some bamboo and charcoal)



Last day v dear xiiao mei  <3


Last day v dear rainni <3


Last day v dear boon lee <3


Last day v dear yong qian <3


Cert


Before backing home :')



YEAH :) I like this camp much n much..sure will going again on this coming June  =^_^=


=END=

"Missing" u Again n Again



Well I thought I would do you a letter on here just to let you know I’m still thinking of you. Pass 2 months now and I still haven’t forgotten you n I still want to ask you so many questions. Did you mean everything u said? We went through so much and it all disappeared so quickly. To be honest I should really thank you because one day I’m learn from all of this. 


You always made promises I knew you were break what you said "couple forever". I don’t think I will ever recover from the scars u left me with u acted like u couldn’t see my pain. I’ve tired so hard for us. Do you know how much that hurts? I’m so glad your finally on top of life. I just wish I could be apart of it. So many people told me to move on and forget about you sometimes. I would tell myself not to care just because you don’t. I told myself to walk away and never look back but I don’t think I could handle it knowing you would't care even if I did.



I guess I have to realize people stay in our hearts even if they don’t stay in out lives. I've grown up a lot believe it or not I’m not some lonely poor little girl anymore back on track and ready for anything that comes my way . Soon I hope to be as high on life as you are. But you’re the only thing in my past I can’t let go of.  




The sky now is full of stars, blue, shiver in the distance..
The night wind whirls in the sky and sings..
To think I don't have you..
To feel that I lost you..
To hear the immense night, more immense without you..




I’ll always be there for u even if u don’t want me to. I’m so proud of you and no matter what happen my heart will always beside yours. I’ll never give up.
*^ˍ^*




出发去生活营

说起来我好久没有参加生活营了,待会要出发去,心情蛮开心的~
下午五点前就要报到,星期五才结束。可要在那里过四夜,怕身体应付不来(≧o≦),妈咪一直不让我去,可我很坚持的报名了^_^ 


嗯......刚刚收拾了我的衣物和日常用品,我的包包还蛮大个,没办法,我好怕冷~所以塞了被被进去,占了好多位子,(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……有点害怕去到会哭包呢!我可是一个爱哭包的女孩,不喜欢离开妈咪太久,虽然去读书已经习惯,但偶尔还是会哭(╯﹏╰)

我的包包 ♥‿♥

出发咯 :)




要在面子书消失四天 (˘⌣˘)朋友们别太想我~xD 。。


掰掰 (◑‿◐)

My Ballet Life [♥]

Yeah..............dance dance dance~i like dancing ballet..Dancing is one of my greater passions in life. Ermmm...start from age 6 i started dancing ballet till i study form 2~i stop it cause many homework in school and i din got the energy to handle my ballet and homework (;_;) i really not willing to stop it since ballet follow me for 7 years already..but i have no choice, my school work is damn many and wanna prepare for my PMR >.<


Izzit so cute..xD..when i GRADE-2 photo


                                               Performance photo =]


Competition in Ipoh Parade^~^


Some of my Ballet exam Results^-^


My Commendation n Cert



Now i continue dancing ballet in Ipoh Belly Central International Ballet School :) I still have 3 years to graduate cause my ballet grade now is GRADE 4..Obviously, i love to dance. It makes me happy and i can't stop smiling. Now i never want to stop even it is a real workout. Classic ballet i think has the most beautiful music in the world. The smile, sights, and sound are what i love. Ballet is a true art for me ❤

Before i going to ballet school photo~


2pid pose /.\


Gonna go out now~bye bye everyone
 (。◕‿◕。)